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Just Spend The Time

by Another Hollow Summer & Dog Thumbs

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1.
Living day to day So obsessed With self improvement Everything else is so hollow When all I do Is wallow In my imperfections In my lack of self worth How can I live life to it's fullest When it's a life I don't deserve Every reward must be earned Nothing has substance unto itself It's been like this for months I can barely remember the last time that I felt something So I'll plan out my days Walk around the streets where I grew up Only time will tell If this lifestyle pays off I'll spark up some new friendships Try and maintain the few I've got Hoping these interactions Won't leave me lost Nothing to find No way from my mind I'll ignore the wasted days All the friendships I've thrown away All the times I've tried to make my life Anything more than a mistake Hopes of progression fill my thoughts I just hope that I can beat the odds Completionism isn't the right mindset When it feels like there isn't much time left I hope that I find my way back I hope I follow my path This mindset might be destroying me But I'm too afraid to ask
2.
It's Unbelievable I've done it again This mind-numbing tiredness A hangover from lack of death Thought I could fix myself Thought that I could feel whole My compensation hasn't worked And now all I remember is the cold Blade of sorrow From the depths of my room last night Sheets crumpled My body shuddering Wishing I didn't have to fight Against my own free will Against my common sense Calling all my thoughts To call for help from a friend Why didn't she bother to stop Why does that make me happy Do I want this all to end Or is it just from lack of trying I've got to summon up the strength To break my bubble of dull self-negligence I just need a break From this stressful cycle Blood mixed with sweat mixed with tears I can't always occupy myself With a few chords and a verse The result is desperation And me at my worst I didn't want anyone to know But I needed the handhold I can't rest easy yet But I can pass out all alone Fuck you Riley Why can't you just get it right You always drag yourself down Before you've even fucking tried Stop wallowing in your hopelessness I know that you're more than this Don't let them all down now Prove yourself wrong just this once Thank god she bothered to stop me Because I'm so fucking happy I don't want this all to end And no way I'll ever stop trying I'm gonna summon up the strength To break my bubble of dull self negligence I don't need a break I just need determination and confidence Blood mixed with sweat mixed with tears Love mixed with pain mixed with fears Sun blotted out by rain on new frontiers Hope mixed with ehart mixed with sheer fucking joy
3.
Blood seeps from my lip As I slip through the cracks once again Waiting at the station all I really want Is for someone to talk to me Feet swelling from these mud splattered shoes Time wasted on thoughts of being with you None of this is new But it gives me something to do So I can pretend to forget that I'm going nowhere Worn out train tracks Look onto the corpses at the station Off in the distance The lights on a crane highlight The constant sickness of the sky And I feel sick to my stomach From the Blood and embarrassment I'm incompetent
4.
A tiled floor lit only with your lamp A cat thats on my chest thats Prophesied my death A drink thats spilled on the floor Me splling my heart thats closed Yet another door Thats how I became the boy who couldnt love the girl The boy who kept getting distracted by the billboard That said “disappear here” I’m just a painting of gleaming nihilism I’m just a wet floor sign thats covered by a shelf I just want more than Im willing to give I just want more than time will give I met you at probably the worst time You met me at my epitome of living a lie Thats how I became the boy who couldnt love the girl The boy who kept getting distracted by the billboard That said “disappear here” I’m just a painting of gleaming nihilism I’m just a wet floor sign thats covered by a shelf Im just the ghost haunting my friends apartment Im just the ghost haunting my love life
5.
Like I said way back then “Im going downhill all the way” Holding on only out of previous obligations Unrequited love for my bestfriend his girlfriends always in the way My Mom says “what I do is gonna kill me” And what I do is really unfulfilling I wish I didnt need this fucking money This job sucks so much its borderline funny And as I stand in this room I look over at you and dont know what to do I hear my friend say in the background “I just wanna be a person” I just wish you want you here in this moment And I heard treat women like queens Even after they leave But with you being so fucking cruel Its been real hard to stay the course To stay the course And as I stand in this room I look over at you and dont know what to do I hear my friend say in the background “I just wanna be a person” I just wish you want you here in this moment
6.
In another blackout party I’m dreaming of every situation That lets me call you the following day But Ill choke on all my words and forget anything that was interesting I had to say I wont hold it against you When youre gone next week And you whispered to me “can you be the substitute for the guy I like?” And I said “okay as long as you give me a reason to be alive” And I hope I dont end up like mark hoppus singing about the same bullshit at 47 And I just hope we end up at each others throats Because that means we cared at some point I wont hold it against you When youre gone next week And you whispered to me “can you be the substitute for the guy I like?” And I said “okay as long as you give me a reason to be alive” And as this ship is sinking Ill burn every bridge as I get to it And I hope y’all are on them So I can say goodbye all at once Where do you think this will go? I wont hold it against you When youre gone next week
7.

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released May 24, 2019

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Sugar Crash Records Melbourne, Australia

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